Please go 2011

Another year gone by. The new one is reckoning. With mesmerizing fireworks of Sydney Harbour world will welcome with colour & vigour 2012! Will leap year bring anything new for all of us? Well, that answer we will have on the 366th day i.e. December 31, 2012!

This is not a look back to 2011; end no. of articles will come on paper & TV to bifurcate the year 2011. Fear of Recession, hot debates on global warming, Anna’s action the fate of Lokpal , Sachin’s 100th ton & many more will be carried forward to the coming year too.

There are some events of 2011 which we would like to forget, and there are some which will be remembered for their brighter sides. So, no more discussions on the year that was, but the year through my eyes which might be very different from the general belief.
Personally I feel, this year was a very different for me. And If I have to balance, it’s a negative year, though in the long run the experience might end up as positive.

I have learnt some basic lessons and renewed some old ones. The first one is surely about trusting people. This is for sure, I won’t be able to trust anyone ever even if the person is really nice and wants good for me.

What are the lessons I have learnt in 2011?

-I must DELETE the word TRUST from my dictionary.

-I must not tell anything good/bad to anyone. Everything should be within me.

-If you are going through difficult times, many people will give you careful listening & later that would be the ingredients for juicy gossips.

-Social Activism, Citizen Journalism and many more are there to say that high & mighty not always win, but personally I know & believe, highly placed people always get the support even from the most unexpected quarters.

-If you want to fight against a person who is ‘someone’ in a given society, you have to fight ALONE.

-And above all WHO you trust is the Essential factor & I must admit I was wrong in almost all of my selections.

-Honesty, selflessness, diligence are some of the words which actually don’t exist anymore.

-Without evidence, even statements, a person can be pronounced guilty based on Assumption and prejudice only. The person must not be given any chance for self-defence. (Though Indian Legal System says something different- presumption of innocence or innocent until proven guilty, evidence, accused should get a chance to defend etc.)

And beliefs I have renewed? Those are quite a few in number.

-I am a Use & Throw object, sometimes recyclable

-Don’t keep any Expectation even from the closest friend/relative

-Self interest is the only factor in any given situation

-You have to be a good actor & diplomat if you want world beside you

-High degrees don’t make a person educated.

-I am a taken-for-granted creature

-‘Single’ means ‘available to all’ & married men are always ‘committed’ to their wives. Any problem arrives; single girl will be always ‘responsible’, even if she didn’t play any role in the problem!

-If you don’t compromise, you have to pay for that.

-“A person should not be too honest. Straight trees are cut first and honest people are screwed first."

There are many accusations against me, those are, I am selfish, I often forget those people who have helped me, and I always blame others for my own faults. I don’t know whether these are true for me, if so, I will try to change myself.

I don’t know whether there will be anything new in store for me in 2012.
I have a dream and will love to give a shape to that in the coming year. But as I believe ‘dream is a destination with a deadline’, so there is very little time left for me.

With lots of hopes and aspirations, I am welcoming you 2012 & a little expectation from you, I want to remember you as a positive year!! Frankly, I wish there wasn’t any year called 2011!!

Birthday Wish...

Last Saturday, i.e. on December 4, I have had my birthday. Friday night at 12 I received an sms: ‘What’s your birthday wish? Whatever it is, may it be fulfilled to its fullest extent… Many happy returns of the day dear!!’
Frankly speaking, birthday doesn’t mean anything to me. I don’t matter to anybody, so how could my birthday be a special occasion?
You may think that why I am telling this. Let me share something here.
I am the single child of my parents but yet to bring smile on their face. At least once in a day I hear ‘may nobody, even our foes have a daughter like you!’ Earlier, many a times this has made me cry. Now I laugh at this. What can I do, I can’t choose my parents! I was not able to make them happy with my results and career. They always wanted to be the toppers & I was always happy with my ranks! Now they are looking for a ‘suitable boy’ for their ‘ugly duckling’, but at the same time they know Beauty sells best in the marriage-market! So, no luck to them and cursing me for not being fair, beautiful and slim!
My father is terminally ill. Need not mention, I have concern for him. Though I am very emotional, but my problem is I cannot express my feeling for anyone! That always sends a wrong message that I am selfish!
Right from my 6-day of age, I live with my grandma. She, along with my aunt brought me up with all their love and care. I have a very special place for them in my heart. I was never pampered by my Didan, but always have got encouragement from her, be it choosing career or pursuing favourite subjects! I share a very special bond with her. I cannot imagine myself without her presence!
My friend circle is pretty large, though who are my actual ‘friend’ I doubt. Whenever they need any help, they renew their contacts with me! Once the job is done, the next question well could be ‘who is Anwesha?’ Right from my school days to present, no change in the status record!
Here I must confess, I cannot pretend. I am same both from outside and inside and any person can understand my nature by spending barely 30 minutes!! I hate hypocrisy. I am politically incorrect and don’t know what diplomacy is! Moreover even if I feel people are using me for their own benefit, then also I cannot say anything!
I always try to give my best in whatever I do. I am not sure whether those are actually ‘best’ in the professional field! Because even after delivering my best (according to me of course), I know it is told about me that I am ‘worthless and useless’. There are some persons in my known circuit who feel their ‘star’ status would be ebbed if they openly interact with an ‘extra’ like me. But had they need any help, they would come to me for help!
I have realized that honesty and hardworking (the most trusted words for me) is gradually losing ground. Backing, reference, recommendations are the clear winners! There was a time, when I had a dream. The dream of achieving my goals. I had great confidence in me. As I didn’t get any encouragement ever (other than from my didan and teachers of school and university) while taking major decisions, I used to motivate myself. But, I cannot dream anymore. My dream has been crushed. My confidence is running in negative. I cannot even think that I can do anything successfully!
I am failure from all perspective. I never bring smile on anyone’s face; no one is/was ever happy with me. Thus, I don’t want to stretch my failure list by getting married and ruin a person’s life! I don’t deserve love!
Now I am silently laughing while writing down about myself! At times I use to call myself as ‘use and throw’ as no one remembered me once their work was over. Now I found another suitable word to describe myself, ‘recycled!’
The birthday sms was about my wish!
Yes, I definitely have a birthday wish and that is ‘I DON’T WANT TO SEE MY NEXT BIRTHDAY AS I WANT TO SEE A SMILE ON EVERYBODY’S FACE!
Let me see if I can fulfil this sole wish of mine!

Birthday Wish...

Last Saturday, i.e. on December 4, I have had my birthday. Friday night at 12 I received an sms: ‘What’s your birthday wish? Whatever it is, may it be fulfilled to its fullest extent… Many happy returns of the day dear!!’
Frankly speaking, birthday doesn’t mean anything to me. I don’t matter to anybody, so how could my birthday be a special occasion?
You may think that why I am telling this. Let me share something here.
I am the single child of my parents but yet to bring smile on their face. At least once in a day I hear ‘may nobody, even our foes have a daughter like you!’ Earlier, many a times this has made me cry. Now I laugh at this. What can I do, I can’t choose my parents! I was not able to make them happy with my results and career. They always wanted to be the toppers & I was always happy with my ranks! Now they are looking for a ‘suitable boy’ for their ‘ugly duckling’, but at the same time they know Beauty sells best in the marriage-market! So, no luck to them and cursing me for not being fair, beautiful and slim!
My father is terminally ill. Need not mention, I have concern for him. Though I am very emotional, but my problem is I cannot express my feeling for anyone! That always sends a wrong message that I am selfish!
Right from my 6-day of age, I live with my grandma. She, along with my aunt brought me up with all their love and care. I have a very special place for them in my heart. I was never pampered by my Didan, but always have got encouragement from her, be it choosing career or pursuing favourite subjects! I share a very special bond with her. I cannot imagine myself without her presence!
My friend circle is pretty large, though who are my actual ‘friend’ I doubt. Whenever they need any help, they renew their contacts with me! Once the job is done, the next question well could be ‘who is Anwesha?’ Right from my school days to present, no change in the status record!
Here I must confess, I cannot pretend. I am same both from outside and inside and any person can understand my nature by spending barely 30 minutes!! I hate hypocrisy. I am politically incorrect and don’t know what diplomacy is! Moreover even if I feel people are using me for their own benefit, then also I cannot say anything!
I always try to give my best in whatever I do. I am not sure whether those are actually ‘best’ in the professional field! Because even after delivering my best (according to me of course), I know it is told about me that I am ‘worthless and useless’. There are some persons in my known circuit who feel their ‘star’ status would be ebbed if they openly interact with an ‘extra’ like me. But had they need any help, they would come to me for help!
I have realized that honesty and hardworking (the most trusted words for me) is gradually losing ground. Backing, reference, recommendations are the clear winners! There was a time, when I had a dream. The dream of achieving my goals. I had great confidence in me. As I didn’t get any encouragement ever (other than from my didan and teachers of school and university) while taking major decisions, I used to motivate myself. But, I cannot dream anymore. My dream has been crushed. My confidence is running in negative. I cannot even think that I can do anything successfully!
I am failure from all perspective. I never bring smile on anyone’s face; no one is/was ever happy with me. Thus, I don’t want to stretch my failure list by getting married and ruin a person’s life! I don’t deserve love!
Now I am silently laughing while writing down about myself! At times I use to call myself as ‘use and throw’ as no one remembered me once their work was over. Now I found another suitable word to describe myself, ‘recycled!’
The birthday sms was about my wish!
Yes, I definitely have a birthday wish and that is ‘I DON’T WANT TO SEE MY NEXT BIRTHDAY AS I WANT TO SEE A SMILE ON EVERYBODY’S FACE!
Let me see if I can fulfil this sole wish of mine!