Friday, 7 January 2011

To Sir...

Yesterday I found a chocolate-wrapper. For last 11 years it is with me. After reading these two lines, eyebrows must not be in their usual places. But I have kept it as a blessing.
It was our final day of standard 10.The feeling was naturally very bad. It was an ‘end’ of a long warm association. Teachers, friends and all other in the school were very nostalgic. I too was on the same league. Though some of my friends were crying, I cannot cry that easily (even if my voice choked).
This is a peculiar thing that I was more close to my teachers than even my parents. They have always given me encouragement, unconditional support, valuable advises to go ahead in life. One of them was Dipankarda. Our Maths teacher from class 8! Though I was very poor in the subject, still he had always stood by me. When I was in a very bad state of mind and even thought of end my life, Sir was the person who had lent the helping hand. Just like a father, he scolded me. Loved me. Instilled confidence in me. Whatever little I have done, I owe much of them to him only. He was (and is) a person of integrity. He never showed any bias against any student.
Dipankarda knows me inside-out! So he understood that I won’t cry. He was looking at me. ( I deliberately didn’t meet him as saying good bye to him was not possible for me). As for the final time, I was about to leave the campus, he called me. I stopped. He gave me a 5-Star! (The only chocolate I love to get  and he knew it so well). I couldn’t control my tears. I started crying. I never thought that Sir would give me on that day!
Just now I told that I was never good at maths and science. We had a strange debate. Just before my class 10 Board examination, he called me up and said ‘I think you are going to get Letter (above 80%) in the Maths!’ I was so ‘shocked’ to hear this from sir, such a cruel joke that too with me. (I was not sure to score even 50%). I was so angry and hurt that I started crying and told that why was he making me feel of my incompetency. He calmly told, ‘if I win you will get a 5-star!! And if I lose, I will give you chocolates of my choice!!’ Just imagine, it was a win-win situation for me! Sir told after giving me the 5-star, ‘’daughters get married off, it’s like that Anwesha. You were, you are and you will be my daughter even if you are a passed out now!’ I looked at him, not sure what to tell.
I didn’t say ‘Thank You!’ I know it would be an insult to him. I said Sorry for doubting his predictions, my ability and hurting him. When I was busy telling this, Sir whispered two words ‘Trust Yourself!’ For last 15 years it has been mantra for me.
I am blessed that wherever I went thereafter be it university and workplace I always have got the best of bests as my teachers and bosses, but never found a friend-philosopher and guide like Dipankarda! Some of them definitely were good and almost like my mentors, but I still miss the warmth of that teacher-student relation! Though I am in an academic institute, I never get to see such a love between a faculty and a student!
I must confess, my confidence is running in minus nowadays. I am questioning my ability every single day.
I don’t know whether the wrapper would show any light know.
That wrapper was that 5-star wrapper!

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