All the Celebrations are on… people are having a gala time to welcome not only the New Year but a new decade !!
Before starting codifying 2011, let see the ‘Good, Bad and the Ugly’ of the era!
Some factors are constant in this ever-changing world. Though the Constants too fall under the various categories of ‘Good, Bad and the Ugly!’
With Consistent performance within the 22-yard, the tallest man in the world cricket is 5’ something!! The milestones he has achieved and the way this 37-year-old is going, it reminds me the most celebrated tagline of Adidas, ‘impossible is nothing!’ Man o’ man, you are the most constant across discipline: Sachin Ramesh Tendulkar!
It seems ‘small is beautiful’ gels well with Indian context. Aamir Khan can easily be tagged as Mr. Steady. With his conviction and perfection he has delivered one after another smashing hits be it a potboiler like Ghajini or a thoughtful Taare Zameen Par or Black Comedy Peepli Live (producer only). ‘Lagaan’ the movie which I have seen at least 22 times made India proud at the Oscars! It can be told, many more to come…!
Caste politics and horse trading is another constant for Indian democracy. Badly enough, we cannot shed it off as no political party is willing to bring this to an end.
Jammu & Kashmir is another factor which is ruling the roots of India-Pakistan relationship. Every time a confidence building measures take place, the very next time terror attack take place! Yes, terror attacks across the world unfortunately an ugly continuity!
And the ugly one? Without any doubt American dominance! To rebuild their dwindling economic condition, America has started witch hunt in the name of terror-free world!
These are few aspects which will be alive atleast for another half a century. But what were the events that were momentous but memorable.
Let look at the West first. All were historic on its own terms.
9/11 and ‘Black Man in the White House.’ Osama Bin Laden,’ the Frankenstein’ had allegedly destructed the pillars of American Economic dominance: Twin Towers on 11th September, 2001. The irony is that, 911 is the emergency number of USA! Since then, the definition of terror has changed and American Imperialism has redesigned itself and Laden became the mystery!
Barack Hussain Obama ha s re-written the history of USA by stepped into the White House. The ardent follower of Martin Luther King, Mahatma Gandhi and Abraham Lincoln, this man has promised a ‘Change we believe in- yes, we can’. This presidential campaign slogan has actually become most quoted sentence! Though, world is yet to see ‘Change’ in the literal sense.
Everything seemed perfect until September, 2008. The Eclipse sets in…Either it was Total or Partial. But it could be seen from all over the world- the Economic Meltdown! It spread thick n’ fast. From USA to Europe to Asia to Africa... the effect was so far reaching that overnight some called it a ‘New World Order’. Though Indian Economy was stirred but not shaken during the period due to its own policy!
Execution of Saddam Hussain by Bush Administration was another heart-wrenching event world had witnessed. Erstwhile American president George W Bush had punished him for ‘crime against humanity!’ Just think!!
Some natural tragedies had united the world. Lakhs of people from several countries had lost their lives in Tsunami in 2004. Earthquakes in Bhuj, Kashmir and Haiti had proved how vulnerable humans are in front of natural fury. Floods in Pakistan and India too have proved the helplessness of individuals. Helps poured in from all parts of the world for the survivors!
Man made catastrophes too were there: the most ghastly one was Gujarat Genocide of 2002. The perpetrator of the crime is still ruling the state. Series of terror attacks (mostly in religious places) in India have tried to shake the secular base of India, though we are successful enough to prove our resilient. Rise of the Maoists due to lack of development and economic backwardness.
We have lost leaders like Jyoti Basu, a magic called Michael Jackson.
No, everything is not shrouded in pessimism. ‘If you look for the stars, you will land on the moon’ India has indeed proved this under the captainship of R Madhavan Nair. Team Chandrayaan was a super success story for us. In the world of sports, Saina Nehwal, Abhinav Bindra, Sushil Kumar, Sourav Ganguly, VVS Lakshman (for crushing mighty Aussies in 2001 and SA in 2010) made us proud. By winning Oscars A R Rahman and Gulzar simply made us ecstatic. India for the first time ever got Madam President, which is indeed very significant from Indian sociological point of view. Sunita Williams, Kalpana Chawla, Amitav Ghosh, Kiran Desai and others had made an Indian Summer.
Here in India, Right to Information Act, 2005 has become a reality. Right to Education has become a fundamental right. Environment awareness now is at its best.
If we name this decade as the decade of Information Revolution, that won’t be an exaggeration. Advent of dozens of news channels in India and few thousand papers are giving each other a healthy competition. New Media, internet, social networking, and micro blogging are the latest trends which have empowered the general mass.
Now, a little personal anecdote. How was the decade for me? I have finished my schooling, universities with a good percentage and topper awards. Joined my dream job and left it. Presently serving an institute which I never thought that I could land there…
May be New Decade will see many such impossible! The beginning is indeed unique…
1.1.11!!
*(Probably I have forgotten many things, these are from my memory only!! So pardon me…)
Friday 31 December 2010
Sunday 19 December 2010
God of All Things: TONdulkar!
24th April, 1973!
37 years back The God was born… Sachin Ramesh Tendulkar!
Lovingly called as ‘5 feet something’, he achieved the Everest with ease! Reaching new heights in all of the calendar years have become his habit. I don’t want to go into the mega statistics of his cricketing genius, but all I know that I am lucky that I am seeing a ‘performing God’ for last 22 years!!
In this ever-changing world, the Constant is Sachin Tendulkar! He made us cry, laugh, scream… Every Indian thinks him as his family member! Indeed a ‘Bharat Ratna!’ Though when is he going to get that, no body knows!!
And why I am calling him God over and again? Simply because I am an atheist and believers say, God makes ‘impossible’ to ‘possible!’ and I am watching Sachin is achieving unimaginable milestones by crushing our fears of ‘impossible!’
Experts are there to give their opinions, all I know is (50+46) tons are nothing for the Run-Machine!!
After all, God is the maker of his own Destiny! He has made his own, so of ours… To me, you are ‘the God of All things!’
37 years back The God was born… Sachin Ramesh Tendulkar!
Lovingly called as ‘5 feet something’, he achieved the Everest with ease! Reaching new heights in all of the calendar years have become his habit. I don’t want to go into the mega statistics of his cricketing genius, but all I know that I am lucky that I am seeing a ‘performing God’ for last 22 years!!
In this ever-changing world, the Constant is Sachin Tendulkar! He made us cry, laugh, scream… Every Indian thinks him as his family member! Indeed a ‘Bharat Ratna!’ Though when is he going to get that, no body knows!!
And why I am calling him God over and again? Simply because I am an atheist and believers say, God makes ‘impossible’ to ‘possible!’ and I am watching Sachin is achieving unimaginable milestones by crushing our fears of ‘impossible!’
Experts are there to give their opinions, all I know is (50+46) tons are nothing for the Run-Machine!!
After all, God is the maker of his own Destiny! He has made his own, so of ours… To me, you are ‘the God of All things!’
Friday 17 December 2010
Yes, Comrade! Welcome...
It was not ‘business as usual’ in a B-school campus! Indian Institute of Management, Calcutta, one who basks in glory of being ‘best finance institute’ invited a Comrade to deliver speech in Institute Lecture series! Mr. Sitaram Yechuri, CPIM Rajya Sabha MP was the guest for today’s occasion!
The discussion was all about Crony Capitalism with special reference to ‘all India Radia!’ How Crony Capitalism is destroying the Democracy at large came back over and again in his speech.
What is this Crony Capitalism? It is a form of capitalist economy in which success in business depends on close relationships between business people and government officials. In other words, it’s a ‘sweetheart deal’ and nepotism performs at its best while government (or any government officials) grants contracts, legal permits, special tax breaks etc.
Yechuri pointed out, collateral damage is taking place due to vicious presence of Crony Capitalism. Not only multi crore rupees 2G Spectrum Allocation or Commonwealth Game Scandal, but the ‘invisible hand’ (not in the context of Adam Smith) was seen in illegal mining, Adarsh housing scams too! In this nexus, natural resources too have been destroyed (illegal mining etc.) and amount of collateral damage was huge! If corruption becomes the key in almost every deal, so how could be democracy prevail unhurt? So, carcinogenic Crony Capitalism is gradually chomping the strongest pillar of Indian Constitution i.e. Democracy!
Honest politicians are soon becoming an endangered species; even Yechuri has jokingly admitted the same while telling that ‘(for a politician) most creative ingenuity can be found in corruption and money-making, though others are not in other orbit!’ The way thousands of crores of rupees being wasted in several scams, that is actually hindering the social progress. ‘Right to Education’ can actually becomes a full-fledged reality had thousands of crores of rupees not being wasted in 2G scams! According to a survey by NEPA, now it would take more time to be implemented as more and more fund is needed. Food Security is still a dream for India. Left parties asked the government, no need to discriminate AP-BPL, give all Indian household 35-kg rice/month. For that Rs. 82,000 crore additional fund is needed and now just think of what happened during CWG!! The reality is, 77% of Indian population living on less than 20 rupees a day, whereas we are getting to see almost in every second day a multi-million scam is unfolding! So, in a way Crony Capitalism is destroying the future is what Yechuri believes. Can India actually afford this much of waste? He asked the questions to the managers-to-be!
But how could a politician stay away from political comments? References of ‘Historical Blunder’ did come while replying a question, so did the issue of tussle between Achuthnandan-Vijayan in a subtle manner, Mamata Banerjee’s Poltical Hungama! Though Comrade didn’t take a single name other than A Raja!
With great pride he told, that not a single name of any left leaders in 2G scams, and in Hawalacase was there! But morality, principle, value is no more a basis while politicians ask for vote! ‘People’s mandate has been bought’ so many a times bright and deserving persons are losing and Money-Muscle is having the last laugh!
He has drawn our attention to the fact, two Indias are being made. At one hand, we are striking deals after deals with G5 countries and focusing on bilateral trade, technology transfer etc. and on the other more than 40% people don’t get a square meal a day! Population has become liability for the government whereas this must be seen as an asset as 54% of them are under the age of 25. So if all of them can be provided with food-health-education, India can change and for better.
But why should anyone vote for the Left? While replying this question, Yechuri told that India wasn’t fall down during the last economic recession because of Left’s timely intervention with government’s economic policies. He cited the examples of, not allowing full convertibility of rupee, foreign banks taking over Indian banks, FDI in Insuarance, Pension fund privatization etc. Had all of them taken place, could India survive the recession? Then a square drive, ‘aren’t these enough reasons to vote for the leftists coupling with morality and honesty, what say?’
Yechuri believes that, economic reforms have in-built mechanism to Crony Capitalism. By any means Crony Capitalism needs to be eliminated. He requested PM Manmohan Singh to take the initiatives in doing so.
And he ended with changing nature of management studies. He called Management studies a ‘trans- disciplinary’ segment, no more a multi-disciplinary! And onus is on the management graduates to drive away the evil called Crony Capitalism while making policies for their respective employers! And future of India lies in management exercise!
Though I wanted to ask him a question… Crony Capitalism is destructive, so is capitalism (though from a different perspective). Between these, where does Communism stand? Is it really dead or actually can play a role in throwing away Crony Capitalism? The question was unheard and naturally, the reply too!!
Still, Welcome comrade!! Different stroke in the hotbed of Capitalism!!
The discussion was all about Crony Capitalism with special reference to ‘all India Radia!’ How Crony Capitalism is destroying the Democracy at large came back over and again in his speech.
What is this Crony Capitalism? It is a form of capitalist economy in which success in business depends on close relationships between business people and government officials. In other words, it’s a ‘sweetheart deal’ and nepotism performs at its best while government (or any government officials) grants contracts, legal permits, special tax breaks etc.
Yechuri pointed out, collateral damage is taking place due to vicious presence of Crony Capitalism. Not only multi crore rupees 2G Spectrum Allocation or Commonwealth Game Scandal, but the ‘invisible hand’ (not in the context of Adam Smith) was seen in illegal mining, Adarsh housing scams too! In this nexus, natural resources too have been destroyed (illegal mining etc.) and amount of collateral damage was huge! If corruption becomes the key in almost every deal, so how could be democracy prevail unhurt? So, carcinogenic Crony Capitalism is gradually chomping the strongest pillar of Indian Constitution i.e. Democracy!
Honest politicians are soon becoming an endangered species; even Yechuri has jokingly admitted the same while telling that ‘(for a politician) most creative ingenuity can be found in corruption and money-making, though others are not in other orbit!’ The way thousands of crores of rupees being wasted in several scams, that is actually hindering the social progress. ‘Right to Education’ can actually becomes a full-fledged reality had thousands of crores of rupees not being wasted in 2G scams! According to a survey by NEPA, now it would take more time to be implemented as more and more fund is needed. Food Security is still a dream for India. Left parties asked the government, no need to discriminate AP-BPL, give all Indian household 35-kg rice/month. For that Rs. 82,000 crore additional fund is needed and now just think of what happened during CWG!! The reality is, 77% of Indian population living on less than 20 rupees a day, whereas we are getting to see almost in every second day a multi-million scam is unfolding! So, in a way Crony Capitalism is destroying the future is what Yechuri believes. Can India actually afford this much of waste? He asked the questions to the managers-to-be!
But how could a politician stay away from political comments? References of ‘Historical Blunder’ did come while replying a question, so did the issue of tussle between Achuthnandan-Vijayan in a subtle manner, Mamata Banerjee’s Poltical Hungama! Though Comrade didn’t take a single name other than A Raja!
With great pride he told, that not a single name of any left leaders in 2G scams, and in Hawalacase was there! But morality, principle, value is no more a basis while politicians ask for vote! ‘People’s mandate has been bought’ so many a times bright and deserving persons are losing and Money-Muscle is having the last laugh!
He has drawn our attention to the fact, two Indias are being made. At one hand, we are striking deals after deals with G5 countries and focusing on bilateral trade, technology transfer etc. and on the other more than 40% people don’t get a square meal a day! Population has become liability for the government whereas this must be seen as an asset as 54% of them are under the age of 25. So if all of them can be provided with food-health-education, India can change and for better.
But why should anyone vote for the Left? While replying this question, Yechuri told that India wasn’t fall down during the last economic recession because of Left’s timely intervention with government’s economic policies. He cited the examples of, not allowing full convertibility of rupee, foreign banks taking over Indian banks, FDI in Insuarance, Pension fund privatization etc. Had all of them taken place, could India survive the recession? Then a square drive, ‘aren’t these enough reasons to vote for the leftists coupling with morality and honesty, what say?’
Yechuri believes that, economic reforms have in-built mechanism to Crony Capitalism. By any means Crony Capitalism needs to be eliminated. He requested PM Manmohan Singh to take the initiatives in doing so.
And he ended with changing nature of management studies. He called Management studies a ‘trans- disciplinary’ segment, no more a multi-disciplinary! And onus is on the management graduates to drive away the evil called Crony Capitalism while making policies for their respective employers! And future of India lies in management exercise!
Though I wanted to ask him a question… Crony Capitalism is destructive, so is capitalism (though from a different perspective). Between these, where does Communism stand? Is it really dead or actually can play a role in throwing away Crony Capitalism? The question was unheard and naturally, the reply too!!
Still, Welcome comrade!! Different stroke in the hotbed of Capitalism!!
Saturday 11 December 2010
Birthday Wish...
Last Saturday, i.e. on December 4, I have had my birthday. Friday night at 12 I received an sms: ‘What’s your birthday wish? Whatever it is, may it be fulfilled to its fullest extent… Many happy returns of the day dear!!’
Frankly speaking, birthday doesn’t mean anything to me. I don’t matter to anybody, so how could my birthday be a special occasion?
You may think that why I am telling this. Let me share something here.
I am the single child of my parents but yet to bring smile on their face. At least once in a day I hear ‘may nobody, even our foes have a daughter like you!’ Earlier, many a times this has made me cry. Now I laugh at this. What can I do, I can’t choose my parents! I was not able to make them happy with my results and career. They always wanted to be the toppers & I was always happy with my ranks! Now they are looking for a ‘suitable boy’ for their ‘ugly duckling’, but at the same time they know Beauty sells best in the marriage-market! So, no luck to them and cursing me for not being fair, beautiful and slim!
My father is terminally ill. Need not mention, I have concern for him. Though I am very emotional, but my problem is I cannot express my feeling for anyone! That always sends a wrong message that I am selfish!
Right from my 6-day of age, I live with my grandma. She, along with my aunt brought me up with all their love and care. I have a very special place for them in my heart. I was never pampered by my Didan, but always have got encouragement from her, be it choosing career or pursuing favourite subjects! I share a very special bond with her. I cannot imagine myself without her presence!
My friend circle is pretty large, though who are my actual ‘friend’ I doubt. Whenever they need any help, they renew their contacts with me! Once the job is done, the next question well could be ‘who is Anwesha?’ Right from my school days to present, no change in the status record!
Here I must confess, I cannot pretend. I am same both from outside and inside and any person can understand my nature by spending barely 30 minutes!! I hate hypocrisy. I am politically incorrect and don’t know what diplomacy is! Moreover even if I feel people are using me for their own benefit, then also I cannot say anything!
I always try to give my best in whatever I do. I am not sure whether those are actually ‘best’ in the professional field! Because even after delivering my best (according to me of course), I know it is told about me that I am ‘worthless and useless’. There are some persons in my known circuit who feel their ‘star’ status would be ebbed if they openly interact with an ‘extra’ like me. But had they need any help, they would come to me for help!
I have realized that honesty and hardworking (the most trusted words for me) is gradually losing ground. Backing, reference, recommendations are the clear winners! There was a time, when I had a dream. The dream of achieving my goals. I had great confidence in me. As I didn’t get any encouragement ever (other than from my didan and teachers of school and university) while taking major decisions, I used to motivate myself. But, I cannot dream anymore. My dream has been crushed. My confidence is running in negative. I cannot even think that I can do anything successfully!
I am failure from all perspective. I never bring smile on anyone’s face; no one is/was ever happy with me. Thus, I don’t want to stretch my failure list by getting married and ruin a person’s life! I don’t deserve love!
Now I am silently laughing while writing down about myself! At times I use to call myself as ‘use and throw’ as no one remembered me once their work was over. Now I found another suitable word to describe myself, ‘recycled!’
The birthday sms was about my wish!
Yes, I definitely have a birthday wish and that is ‘I DON’T WANT TO SEE MY NEXT BIRTHDAY AS I WANT TO SEE A SMILE ON EVERYBODY’S FACE!
Let me see if I can fulfil this sole wish of mine!
Frankly speaking, birthday doesn’t mean anything to me. I don’t matter to anybody, so how could my birthday be a special occasion?
You may think that why I am telling this. Let me share something here.
I am the single child of my parents but yet to bring smile on their face. At least once in a day I hear ‘may nobody, even our foes have a daughter like you!’ Earlier, many a times this has made me cry. Now I laugh at this. What can I do, I can’t choose my parents! I was not able to make them happy with my results and career. They always wanted to be the toppers & I was always happy with my ranks! Now they are looking for a ‘suitable boy’ for their ‘ugly duckling’, but at the same time they know Beauty sells best in the marriage-market! So, no luck to them and cursing me for not being fair, beautiful and slim!
My father is terminally ill. Need not mention, I have concern for him. Though I am very emotional, but my problem is I cannot express my feeling for anyone! That always sends a wrong message that I am selfish!
Right from my 6-day of age, I live with my grandma. She, along with my aunt brought me up with all their love and care. I have a very special place for them in my heart. I was never pampered by my Didan, but always have got encouragement from her, be it choosing career or pursuing favourite subjects! I share a very special bond with her. I cannot imagine myself without her presence!
My friend circle is pretty large, though who are my actual ‘friend’ I doubt. Whenever they need any help, they renew their contacts with me! Once the job is done, the next question well could be ‘who is Anwesha?’ Right from my school days to present, no change in the status record!
Here I must confess, I cannot pretend. I am same both from outside and inside and any person can understand my nature by spending barely 30 minutes!! I hate hypocrisy. I am politically incorrect and don’t know what diplomacy is! Moreover even if I feel people are using me for their own benefit, then also I cannot say anything!
I always try to give my best in whatever I do. I am not sure whether those are actually ‘best’ in the professional field! Because even after delivering my best (according to me of course), I know it is told about me that I am ‘worthless and useless’. There are some persons in my known circuit who feel their ‘star’ status would be ebbed if they openly interact with an ‘extra’ like me. But had they need any help, they would come to me for help!
I have realized that honesty and hardworking (the most trusted words for me) is gradually losing ground. Backing, reference, recommendations are the clear winners! There was a time, when I had a dream. The dream of achieving my goals. I had great confidence in me. As I didn’t get any encouragement ever (other than from my didan and teachers of school and university) while taking major decisions, I used to motivate myself. But, I cannot dream anymore. My dream has been crushed. My confidence is running in negative. I cannot even think that I can do anything successfully!
I am failure from all perspective. I never bring smile on anyone’s face; no one is/was ever happy with me. Thus, I don’t want to stretch my failure list by getting married and ruin a person’s life! I don’t deserve love!
Now I am silently laughing while writing down about myself! At times I use to call myself as ‘use and throw’ as no one remembered me once their work was over. Now I found another suitable word to describe myself, ‘recycled!’
The birthday sms was about my wish!
Yes, I definitely have a birthday wish and that is ‘I DON’T WANT TO SEE MY NEXT BIRTHDAY AS I WANT TO SEE A SMILE ON EVERYBODY’S FACE!
Let me see if I can fulfil this sole wish of mine!
Friday 10 December 2010
Birthday Wish...
Last Saturday, i.e. on December 4, I have had my birthday. Friday night at 12 I received an sms: ‘What’s your birthday wish? Whatever it is, may it be fulfilled to its fullest extent… Many happy returns of the day dear!!’
Frankly speaking, birthday doesn’t mean anything to me. I don’t matter to anybody, so how could my birthday be a special occasion?
You may think that why I am telling this. Let me share something here.
I am the single child of my parents but yet to bring smile on their face. At least once in a day I hear ‘may nobody, even our foes have a daughter like you!’ Earlier, many a times this has made me cry. Now I laugh at this. What can I do, I can’t choose my parents! I was not able to make them happy with my results and career. They always wanted to be the toppers & I was always happy with my ranks! Now they are looking for a ‘suitable boy’ for their ‘ugly duckling’, but at the same time they know Beauty sells best in the marriage-market! So, no luck to them and cursing me for not being fair, beautiful and slim!
My father is terminally ill. Need not mention, I have concern for him. Though I am very emotional, but my problem is I cannot express my feeling for anyone! That always sends a wrong message that I am selfish!
Right from my 6-day of age, I live with my grandma. She, along with my aunt brought me up with all their love and care. I have a very special place for them in my heart. I was never pampered by my Didan, but always have got encouragement from her, be it choosing career or pursuing favourite subjects! I share a very special bond with her. I cannot imagine myself without her presence!
My friend circle is pretty large, though who are my actual ‘friend’ I doubt. Whenever they need any help, they renew their contacts with me! Once the job is done, the next question well could be ‘who is Anwesha?’ Right from my school days to present, no change in the status record!
Here I must confess, I cannot pretend. I am same both from outside and inside and any person can understand my nature by spending barely 30 minutes!! I hate hypocrisy. I am politically incorrect and don’t know what diplomacy is! Moreover even if I feel people are using me for their own benefit, then also I cannot say anything!
I always try to give my best in whatever I do. I am not sure whether those are actually ‘best’ in the professional field! Because even after delivering my best (according to me of course), I know it is told about me that I am ‘worthless and useless’. There are some persons in my known circuit who feel their ‘star’ status would be ebbed if they openly interact with an ‘extra’ like me. But had they need any help, they would come to me for help!
I have realized that honesty and hardworking (the most trusted words for me) is gradually losing ground. Backing, reference, recommendations are the clear winners! There was a time, when I had a dream. The dream of achieving my goals. I had great confidence in me. As I didn’t get any encouragement ever (other than from my didan and teachers of school and university) while taking major decisions, I used to motivate myself. But, I cannot dream anymore. My dream has been crushed. My confidence is running in negative. I cannot even think that I can do anything successfully!
I am failure from all perspective. I never bring smile on anyone’s face; no one is/was ever happy with me. Thus, I don’t want to stretch my failure list by getting married and ruin a person’s life! I don’t deserve love!
Now I am silently laughing while writing down about myself! At times I use to call myself as ‘use and throw’ as no one remembered me once their work was over. Now I found another suitable word to describe myself, ‘recycled!’
The birthday sms was about my wish!
Yes, I definitely have a birthday wish and that is ‘I DON’T WANT TO SEE MY NEXT BIRTHDAY AS I WANT TO SEE A SMILE ON EVERYBODY’S FACE!
Let me see if I can fulfil this sole wish of mine!
Frankly speaking, birthday doesn’t mean anything to me. I don’t matter to anybody, so how could my birthday be a special occasion?
You may think that why I am telling this. Let me share something here.
I am the single child of my parents but yet to bring smile on their face. At least once in a day I hear ‘may nobody, even our foes have a daughter like you!’ Earlier, many a times this has made me cry. Now I laugh at this. What can I do, I can’t choose my parents! I was not able to make them happy with my results and career. They always wanted to be the toppers & I was always happy with my ranks! Now they are looking for a ‘suitable boy’ for their ‘ugly duckling’, but at the same time they know Beauty sells best in the marriage-market! So, no luck to them and cursing me for not being fair, beautiful and slim!
My father is terminally ill. Need not mention, I have concern for him. Though I am very emotional, but my problem is I cannot express my feeling for anyone! That always sends a wrong message that I am selfish!
Right from my 6-day of age, I live with my grandma. She, along with my aunt brought me up with all their love and care. I have a very special place for them in my heart. I was never pampered by my Didan, but always have got encouragement from her, be it choosing career or pursuing favourite subjects! I share a very special bond with her. I cannot imagine myself without her presence!
My friend circle is pretty large, though who are my actual ‘friend’ I doubt. Whenever they need any help, they renew their contacts with me! Once the job is done, the next question well could be ‘who is Anwesha?’ Right from my school days to present, no change in the status record!
Here I must confess, I cannot pretend. I am same both from outside and inside and any person can understand my nature by spending barely 30 minutes!! I hate hypocrisy. I am politically incorrect and don’t know what diplomacy is! Moreover even if I feel people are using me for their own benefit, then also I cannot say anything!
I always try to give my best in whatever I do. I am not sure whether those are actually ‘best’ in the professional field! Because even after delivering my best (according to me of course), I know it is told about me that I am ‘worthless and useless’. There are some persons in my known circuit who feel their ‘star’ status would be ebbed if they openly interact with an ‘extra’ like me. But had they need any help, they would come to me for help!
I have realized that honesty and hardworking (the most trusted words for me) is gradually losing ground. Backing, reference, recommendations are the clear winners! There was a time, when I had a dream. The dream of achieving my goals. I had great confidence in me. As I didn’t get any encouragement ever (other than from my didan and teachers of school and university) while taking major decisions, I used to motivate myself. But, I cannot dream anymore. My dream has been crushed. My confidence is running in negative. I cannot even think that I can do anything successfully!
I am failure from all perspective. I never bring smile on anyone’s face; no one is/was ever happy with me. Thus, I don’t want to stretch my failure list by getting married and ruin a person’s life! I don’t deserve love!
Now I am silently laughing while writing down about myself! At times I use to call myself as ‘use and throw’ as no one remembered me once their work was over. Now I found another suitable word to describe myself, ‘recycled!’
The birthday sms was about my wish!
Yes, I definitely have a birthday wish and that is ‘I DON’T WANT TO SEE MY NEXT BIRTHDAY AS I WANT TO SEE A SMILE ON EVERYBODY’S FACE!
Let me see if I can fulfil this sole wish of mine!
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