All my life I hate doing this. Still, I do. Despite so much of hatred, I have to do that…
I know the sin, the sinner too.
To some, ‘time is a great healer’, but is that so? Or with times we tend to come with the terms? To me, the latter one is actually true. Nothing heals with time, but we have to accept!
Few days back, I received an sms (a pretty unexpected one); one of my ‘friends’ wanted to meet me to give his ‘explanation’ on certain events. To give peace a chance, I had to go and had to listen to him. And moreover I have to accept!!
Though I know, whatever has been told was scripted earlier. The explanations have academic discourses. Academic explanation might not be that much accepted in certain traumatic situations.
Still, I couldn’t do anything. I fought with myself, hated myself for such a compromise, questioned my self-esteem, got sentimental with some of my ‘friends’ (who are top on the hierarchies) as they read it as ‘little misunderstanding’!
Once I used to believe ‘losing faith on human being is a sin!’ I used to trust everyone. Now I started losing faith on myself too. Who to trust? I am getting sarcastic. Sometimes, I get so confused that I question the motives of everyone!
I am a loser. I cannot even defend my own values and morale. No, I am not the victim of the situation. What I felt lately was, helping people foolishness. Selfishness is the essential characteristics in order to be successful. Political correctness & Diplomacy a must. Simple, Straightforward attitude always throw you into the deepest of the trench. Pretension makes people popular!
I have paid price for being simple, politically incorrect & trusting people.
May be, for the rest of my life too I will continue to do the same.
I want to live a life of a loser.
I am calling ‘giving peace a chance!’ though my heart is bleeding …!!